Healing Relationship Strains During Election Season: How to Manage Relationships and Stay Connected
Election season is a challenging time for many, and it can often bring added tension into our closest relationships. For some, these high-stakes periods can even reopen old relational wounds—areas of sensitivity or hurt from past experiences with family members, partners, or friends. If you’re finding that election discussions are triggering, intensifying, or complicating relationship dynamics, know that you’re not alone. Here, we’ll explore how the election causes stress on relationships and offer strategies for healing relationships after the election and staying connected, grounded, and compassionate during this time.
How Election Season Impacts Relational Wounds
Relational wounds occur when someone experiences pain, betrayal, or a loss of trust within a relationship. These wounds can stem from a variety of sources, such as past conflicts, emotional invalidation, or even childhood experiences of neglect, abuse, invalidation, etc. During times of heightened political and social tension, relational wounds may resurface or intensify, affecting how we feel and interact with those closest to us. Here are a few common ways election season may impact or exacerbate complicated relationships:
Conflicting Values and Beliefs: Conversations around politics often highlight our values and beliefs. When these differ significantly from those of a partner, friend, or family member, it can feel like a personal attack on our character or ideals. This can bring up old feelings of being misunderstood or dismissed, making it harder to feel close and connected.
Family and Social Divides: For many, family or social events during election season can lead to uncomfortable conversations or even conflict. If there’s a history of feeling unaccepted or judged within these systems, these interactions may reinforce those feelings, reactivating pain from past wounds and ruptures. Especially in relationships that already feel a lack of alignment, election season has the ability to widen the rift and strengthen the feeling.
Feeling Dismissed or Unseen: When someone close to us holds different views, it can feel as if our own perspective or values are being invalidated or disregarded. This experience can bring up feelings of rejection or betrayal, especially if we’ve felt overlooked or dismissed in past relationships.
Reactivation of Trauma Responses: People may feel heightened anxiety, hypervigilance, or fear during election season. These feelings are natural when the body’s fight-or-flight response is activated by stress, but they can complicate communication and make it difficult to feel safe in relationships. It can be important to have a grasp on what trauma responses you tend to gravitate toward in order to better navigate how to follow some of the strategies below for yourself and those you care about.
While relational wounds are complex, there are many ways to manage these feelings and foster healthier connections with others:
Set Boundaries Around Political Discussions
Not every conversation has to turn into a political debate, and it’s okay to set limits on discussions that make you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
Communicate Your Needs Clearly: You're allowed to name for others if you’d prefer not to discuss politics, especially if the conversation is triggering past relational wounds.
Decide Your Comfort Zone: Consider the people and situations where you feel safe discussing your views. Limiting discussions to safe, non-judgmental spaces can help you feel more regulated and connected.
Take Breaks: If you find yourself in a tense conversation, it’s okay to pause or step away. A moment of fresh air or a quick breathing exercise can be grounding. Understand for yourself when your body feels like it's starting to escalate - your heart rate increasing, getting warm, withdrawing from conversation, talking quickly, etc. Knowing the signs that you're becoming activated can better help you press that pause button.
Practice Self-Compassion
When relational wounds resurface, it’s natural to feel a range of emotions, from frustration to sadness. Practicing self-compassion can help you cope with these feelings without harsh self-judgment.
Acknowledge Your Feelings: Notice your emotional responses and validate them without judgment. Remember that these feelings are normal, especially if the situation reminds you of past pain.
Practice Gentle Self-Talk: Speak to yourself the way you would a close friend. Remind yourself that you’re doing your best to handle complex emotions.
Find a Compassionate Outlet: Activities like journaling, meditation, or talking to a supportive friend or therapist can be helpful outlets for processing your emotions.
Focus on Shared Values and Goals
Even in challenging conversations, it’s often possible to find common ground with others, especially with people you care about.
Identify Shared Values: If conversations turn political, look for values or concerns that you and the other person share. This can foster connection and keep the conversation respectful.
Reaffirm Your Relationship’s Strength: Remind yourself (and, if appropriate, the other person) that your relationship goes beyond political views. Focusing on what you appreciate in each other can keep the conversation grounded. Identifying something like, "Hey - it sounds like we both have a shared perspective/value/idea/ around X. Let's notice that and bring the conversation back to that safe, mutual spot."
Stay Grounded in the Present Moment
Election-related stress can make it easy to get lost in future worries or past hurts. Mindfulness practices can help you stay centered and regulate your emotions.
Quick Coherence Technique (regulating breathing method): HeartMath utilizes a tool called a Quick Coherence technique to quickly and succinctly help people to regulate their nervous systems and de-escalate when they're noticing that their starting to climb up that arc of activation. A "Quick Co," as it's nicknamed, focuses on using the heart to balance thoughts and emotions and bring us to a greater sense of inner harmony in order to better utilize healthy coping methods and tools necessary for maintaining our relationships with selves and others well. A Quick Coherence follows the following two steps:
1. Take a moment to close your eyes or gaze gently in the distance and notice your heart space. Notice your breath and imagine it gently moving through your heart space. Do this at a gentle pace for yourself
2. Recall a moment in time, person, place or things, etc. that brings forth a feeling of gratitude. A warm feeling of thanks or appreciation. Spend as much time you need in this feeling before returning back to the here and now.
Body Scans: Bringing attention to each part of your body can help you release tension and stay grounded during challenging moments.
Grounding Statements: Remind yourself that “This is a temporary moment,” or “I can feel safe in my body.” Grounding statements can offer relief from racing thoughts.
Connect with Supportive People
Election season can feel isolating, especially if you’re surrounded by people who don’t share your views. Seek out supportive connections who can offer understanding and validation.
Seek Non-Political Conversations: Find people or groups where you can focus on topics unrelated to politics. This can help you feel connected without the stress of disagreement.
Reach Out to Trusted People: Share your feelings with close friends, family or a therapist who can offer empathy and understanding. Feeling seen and heard can be especially healing during times of stress.
Accept Imperfection in Yourself and Others
Relational wounds often arise from the need for safety, acceptance, and validation. While it’s important to set healthy expectations, accepting imperfection—in yourself and in others—can reduce stress and ease relational tension.
Forgive Your Own Reactions: If election stress has impacted your relationships, be kind to yourself. Relationships are complex, and it’s okay to need time to process your feelings. All relationships have rupture, and a key to maintaining a healthy relationship is by following it up with repair when all involved are regulated and ready to do so.
Recognize Others’ Limitations: Family members, partners, and friends may also be dealing with stress. Extending understanding to them can help preserve harmony and support resilience.
Rupture and Repair is Essential for Healthy Relationships: All relationships have rupture, and a key to maintaining a healthy relationship is by following it up with repair when all involved are regulated and ready to do so. Press the pause button, take care of yourself, let those you care about take care of themselves, and make a plan to come back together to acknowledge and strengths of your relationship and what's shared in your relationship in order to create a path forward.
Election season can be a uniquely challenging time for relationships, especially if you’re carrying relational wounds that make political conversations feel more charged. Practicing these self-care strategies and focusing on what you can control can help you navigate this period with a sense of calm and self-assurance. Remember, tending to your well-being isn’t just beneficial for you—it can also create a stronger, more compassionate foundation for your relationships. With patience and self-care, you can protect your peace and stay resilient through this season and beyond.
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